Ladies, if you were honest with yourself, your dating profile would read:

About me

Well, let's see. I'm older than I look because of the advent of Youtube makeup tutorials, fatter than in person, thanks to spanks and body magic, which does wonders, and frankly, to be honest, I still haven’t figured out who I am. I'm OK with that. Are you?
I do have some level of education, but it’s not worth the ink on the paper to mention it, lets face it, I’m either underemployed or unemployed, so yes I’m banking on your income to take care of me.

My Life and Ambitions

I’m just trying to keep my head above water. People tell me I look like Bey or Riahana, so I’m thinking about going into showbiz. Nope. Never taken any acting or modeling class. But these days, is all about that bass….and I’ve got plenty of that.

A Brief History of my life

I grew up in the hood, raised by a single mother, I have about 5 siblings, and I may, just may be as the psychiatrist told me “a broken girl with daddy issues”, so be prepared for a roller-coaster relationship. I will be highly emotional, accusatory, unpredictable, and when I’m wrong, play the victim roll.

My Perfect First Date

Pick me up late in your Chevy on twenty fours, have the blunt already rolled, take me to Hooters, pay the tab, stop at the liquor store to pick up ciroc, and then take me back to your mothers basement. It would help if you showed up wearing timberland boots, skinny jeans (heard that’s the style now) a snap back hat,  and  of course the too long double xl white T.

The things I could never live without

My knock-off Michael Kors purse, leggings, jeggins, the satin night cap I wear outside, 24 inch weave, and I don’t discriminate nationalities, it could be from India, Malaysia, or Brazil.

Favorite books, TV shows, movies

I mean are you for real?, the last book I held was the one I had to put my hand on and swear to tell the truth. Not a good question for this point in the hunt. My favorite movies are Scandal, Empire, and Greys Anatomy.  But I do watch roots every year during Black History month.

For Fun I like to

Do whatever you like to do, because on the serious tip, I’m tired of being alone, so if you wanna club all night….on a Tuesday…then imma be in there wit you

On Friday and Saturday nights I typically
Turn up!

I'm Looking For

A man to take care of me, my kids, and maybe even my momma. Somebody whos thirsty for the hustle, who won’t mind letting me count his money.

My ideal relationship

• someone’s who smart, funny, kind
• knows how to hold a convo
• who got his ish together
• ain’t got no crazy baby mommas
• he gotta have two jobs, 1 for each set of his kids
• he gotta be cut, I mean he gotta look good wearing that wife beater
•
My past relationships

(Not counting my last baby daddy? was just peachy.)
Train wreck, slacker, unavailable hunk, egomaniacal sadistic prick, narcissist. Like I said, it can only go up from there. But I tend not to focus on the past, I'm all about living in the moment

You should definitely message me if

You coming correct, don’t be on here disrespecting me
YOLO! Tiff Tiff the thick one, hit me on the gram, or at me @Tiffthethickone  my nigs

Reclaiming my own....

Monday, February 17, 2014

Reclaim Your OWN EVERYTHING: How does it feel to be yourself?

How does it feel to be yourself?

By: Laila Muhammad      @lailamuhammad1

 “Learn to... be what you are, and learn to resign with a good grace all that you are not.”  ~Henri Frederic Amiel

[Editor’s note:  The following article was requested from sister Laila Muhammad by our Chief Editor Chris Muhammad who wanted to release this and still will in Hammer Magazine Volume 19. But  because of the TIME and the vital need for this type of information. We are sharing it with you at this time. When asked him why did you request her to write this article? He said," Black women in particular but all women must know their origin, know who they are and be able to express the contents of their character more efficient and effectively. How can any woman  tell you who she is if she does not know herself? We need more women who are learning about who they really are and are willing to share that with others who are totally lost.  So I reached out to our dear sister Laila Muhammad so she could help  the process of our learning How To Reclaim Our Own Everything. Reclaim Allah, Reclaim Yourself, Reclaim our families Get up and Reclaim it all!!]

 

The most important question that we will ever get asked in our life is, who are you? And like so many of us, we struggle with the answer. Am I a Teacher, Nurse, Writer, Designer? At the end of our lives what will our legacy be? Will they say she was a good poet, a great dancer, an awesome singer? We are more than the titles people place on us. I am a mother, a sister, a friend, a dedicated woman to the mission of resurrecting our people. Hopefully, one day a good wife. 

I have not always come to this realization that some people seem to have been born with. You know those who walk around with an innate sense of “knowing who they are”. No, not me, I didn't come into the full knowledge of what being a woman really means. Not by some “ah ha” moment, or some strange epiphany, reawakening, or by osmosis. I came into this via a painful process of broken hearts, low self-esteem, bad break-ups, identity issues, and practically hitting rock bottom before rebuilding myself. 

I read that the Chinese, when something of value breaks, instead of throwing it away, they simply fill in the cracks with gold, and then that broken thing, which was once so ugly, so fragile, and hopeless, becomes something of immeasurable value and beauty. That’s the key to loving yourself. You have to know that you are the only one, with the help of God who can change your life. And you are worth it.The most six important words I can ever pass on to anyone is to accept your own and be yourself. But once you forgo all the labels people have placed on you, you will truly be free to become everything you can imagine. You will write your own history. I realized that only I, can define me, and I have to be the one to choose the things that make me, me. 

All my life I’ve tried so hard to fit it, to be a cookie cutter replica of those who I thought were the perfect women. I changed my dress to suit their style. I went against my internal spirit that told me it was okay to be a square peg in a round hole, so I bent, molded and broke myself in order to be fashioned by others. But one day, I looked in the mirror and realized that I didn't know the person staring back at me. So I made a decision, that from this day forward I would listen to that little voice inside of me that guides me. And slowly but surely, like waters push against rocks until streams are formed; I became myself more and more and that voice got louder.


I can say that it feels good to be free, to be honest with myself, to know my limitations, to make myself into whatever I want to be, to love freely, think clearly, speak with power and certainty, and look back on all the negatives in my life, and be grateful. Because, I understand every knock is a boost, so I have built a house on the stones that were thrown at me.

So ask yourself the question; How does it feel to be yourself, and if you don’t know right now, it’s okay, start small, and visualize who you actually want to be, make a plan on how to get there, and embrace every encounter as a stepping stone and learning opportunity to get you to your goal. 

May Allah (God) bless you with the light of understanding, and may you forever walk therein.

Laila Muhammad is a Chicago based Writer, Videographer, and Final Call Production Assistant.

Note: Please comment on this article and let us know your thoughts

I'm not a single mother....only a single woman

Maybe it was my upbringing,
Maybe it was the way I saw my immediate and extended family all pitch in 
Maybe it was the fact that we were poor and didn't know people lived different;y
Or maybe, it was the fact that 3 generations of families lived under one roof for years.

Whatever it was I appreciate the fact that I grew up in a very large family, where everyone pitched to cook, clean, share chores, babysit, help with homework, do hair, and just be there for each other. So as a divorced woman and Mother I realized that even though I was now single I was not on my own. I still have a support group that helps me out in any way needed with my children. 

I have people around me who when I'm working late nights at the Newspaper, or just need some "me" time, will pitch in without hesitation and scoop her up from school. I have best friends who will watch her while I'm working the video camera late nights at the Mosque. I've been Blessed with people who will keep my pre-teen son for the weekend, take him to the movies, buy him video games, or take him to the barber shop.

So yes, I'm Blessed.

Though being a single woman can be overwhelming when at the end of the day everything falls on your shoulder, and you try not to stress out, there's comfort in knowing that you are not alone.

So no, I won't tell people I'm a single mother, no pity parties here, no victims, and no woe is me speech, we all make our own choices and we have to live with and be ok with the outcome. I have been blessed to have good men in my life who take care of their children, and would give their last dime for them, so no complaints here.

Snow Day!

I woke up early this morning, looked out my window, saw the entire road and cars covered in snow. Snow was still falling, those big puff balls of snow, as a child I used to stand out side and tilt my head back, mouth wide open, trying to taste it. But now, as a thirty something year-old mother, I'm dreading the soon to be fact that my children will want to go sledding pretty soon. So I rolled out of bed, got myself together, an hour or so later, after the little one has eaten, checked homework....I filled in some answers she didn't finish, because seriously, it's easier for me to do it, then for her to spend 15 minutes writing and erasing the letter Q. So what you will, but time is my enemy on snow days.

Off to school she goes, I sit on my bed, and all of a sudden I felt ill, it could be psychosomatic, or it could have been real pain, none the less I popped to asprins, and called my boss to let him know I wouldn't be in.

I turned on the t.v. and radio to see if they were going to announce any school closures....they didn't. Besides this is winter time in Chicago, it's expected. I was born and raised here, and I can only remember a handful of times that we had snow days. So as I planned out my day, I would catch up on some reading, sew, do my hair (after all it's natural, so if I didn't do it, no one would notice...oh the joy of being natural!) and actually pack away my pretty spring coats. I pulled out my big gray boots, which I will admit are pretty cute to be such heavy duty, dusted them off, set them near the door because I forgot to take the trash out last night. I opened the back door, and stopped dead in my tracks....Did I really feel like walking 50 feet and down two flights of stairs in about 3 inches of snow, 5 degree weather, to take trash out? Nope! So I kicked off my trusty boots, made a cup of coffee, and laid across my couch and turned on "Kelly and Michael".

So to the store I go, because how dare it snow in early Decembe 

 
r in Chicago, I wasn't prepared, yes I know it happens every year, but I though I had another week or so, children need snow boots, snow pants, heavier gloves, long johns, and more scarves....oh and new Sleds......

Hopefully next year, I would have made some friends in Florida who wouldn't mind me lounging on their couch for a week or so. Or maybe I can call up my ex husband and his wife in southern California and bum off them for a week or two....who knows, God does answer prayers, so I will keep the faith. Until then, I will be moping around for the next 3 1/2 months !