Reclaiming my own....

Monday, February 17, 2014

Reclaim Your OWN EVERYTHING: How does it feel to be yourself?

How does it feel to be yourself?

By: Laila Muhammad      @lailamuhammad1

 “Learn to... be what you are, and learn to resign with a good grace all that you are not.”  ~Henri Frederic Amiel

[Editor’s note:  The following article was requested from sister Laila Muhammad by our Chief Editor Chris Muhammad who wanted to release this and still will in Hammer Magazine Volume 19. But  because of the TIME and the vital need for this type of information. We are sharing it with you at this time. When asked him why did you request her to write this article? He said," Black women in particular but all women must know their origin, know who they are and be able to express the contents of their character more efficient and effectively. How can any woman  tell you who she is if she does not know herself? We need more women who are learning about who they really are and are willing to share that with others who are totally lost.  So I reached out to our dear sister Laila Muhammad so she could help  the process of our learning How To Reclaim Our Own Everything. Reclaim Allah, Reclaim Yourself, Reclaim our families Get up and Reclaim it all!!]

 

The most important question that we will ever get asked in our life is, who are you? And like so many of us, we struggle with the answer. Am I a Teacher, Nurse, Writer, Designer? At the end of our lives what will our legacy be? Will they say she was a good poet, a great dancer, an awesome singer? We are more than the titles people place on us. I am a mother, a sister, a friend, a dedicated woman to the mission of resurrecting our people. Hopefully, one day a good wife. 

I have not always come to this realization that some people seem to have been born with. You know those who walk around with an innate sense of “knowing who they are”. No, not me, I didn't come into the full knowledge of what being a woman really means. Not by some “ah ha” moment, or some strange epiphany, reawakening, or by osmosis. I came into this via a painful process of broken hearts, low self-esteem, bad break-ups, identity issues, and practically hitting rock bottom before rebuilding myself. 

I read that the Chinese, when something of value breaks, instead of throwing it away, they simply fill in the cracks with gold, and then that broken thing, which was once so ugly, so fragile, and hopeless, becomes something of immeasurable value and beauty. That’s the key to loving yourself. You have to know that you are the only one, with the help of God who can change your life. And you are worth it.The most six important words I can ever pass on to anyone is to accept your own and be yourself. But once you forgo all the labels people have placed on you, you will truly be free to become everything you can imagine. You will write your own history. I realized that only I, can define me, and I have to be the one to choose the things that make me, me. 

All my life I’ve tried so hard to fit it, to be a cookie cutter replica of those who I thought were the perfect women. I changed my dress to suit their style. I went against my internal spirit that told me it was okay to be a square peg in a round hole, so I bent, molded and broke myself in order to be fashioned by others. But one day, I looked in the mirror and realized that I didn't know the person staring back at me. So I made a decision, that from this day forward I would listen to that little voice inside of me that guides me. And slowly but surely, like waters push against rocks until streams are formed; I became myself more and more and that voice got louder.


I can say that it feels good to be free, to be honest with myself, to know my limitations, to make myself into whatever I want to be, to love freely, think clearly, speak with power and certainty, and look back on all the negatives in my life, and be grateful. Because, I understand every knock is a boost, so I have built a house on the stones that were thrown at me.

So ask yourself the question; How does it feel to be yourself, and if you don’t know right now, it’s okay, start small, and visualize who you actually want to be, make a plan on how to get there, and embrace every encounter as a stepping stone and learning opportunity to get you to your goal. 

May Allah (God) bless you with the light of understanding, and may you forever walk therein.

Laila Muhammad is a Chicago based Writer, Videographer, and Final Call Production Assistant.

Note: Please comment on this article and let us know your thoughts